Yoon Kane’s Interview on Psychology Today: How Parents Can Empower Their Daughters

From a young age, women receive messages about how to be nice, compliant, accommodate others, and gain approval, both from the families and the communities they grow up in. Messages are often subtle and not conscious. They can sound like: Be nice to your brother. Don’t interrupt. Stop being so dramatic. Why are you being so difficult? Don’t you care how I feel?

These messages can hinder women’s natural development of a sense of self-worth and entitlement. Healthy self-worth involves cultivating a level of self-acceptance that validates a full range of desires and feelings. Healthy entitlement requires self-compassion, accepting negative feelings without self-criticism, and making mistakes without shame. Not developing self-worth and entitlement early on can lead to bigger problems as girls grow into women.

Check out the rest of Yoon’s interview here:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/when-kids-call-the-shots/201810/how-parents-can-empower-their-daughters?fbclid=IwAR3CjVZ2MhepeEBD9QgGmNqD8zHhXm_AV_xGNICsCecsFaZOxsnzWfG3jmE

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2018 Getting to the Heart of the Matter Mindful Retreat: Intimacy from the Inside Out Experience

The Getting to the Heart of the Matter Mindful Hawaii retreat was an experience of rejuvenation, relaxation and rediscovery. Toni, Morgan and Yoon were a fantastic team and thanks to Chef Jessica and her crew, we experienced the flavors of Maui in delicious, locally-sourced meals. Not a drop of rain and spectacular sunsets – thank you Hawaii!

We arrived as a group of strangers from diverse backgrounds – couples and individuals from New York, Texas, Chicago and California. Maui’s magical sunsets, sea turtles, hikes and beaches deepened our intensive journey of the heart, mind and body. Through yoga, journaling, talking and meditating on the beach, we practiced returning to the self and the heart to allow difficult emotions and settle our protectors.

Giving ourselves the experience of being nurtured and held over five days, gave us the time and space to metabolize and integrate our intellectual learning in a deeper, emotional way. As the days unfolded, we started to sink in and practice new ways of being and connecting with one another moment-to-moment. By getting to understand and accepting the protective parts of us that try to keep us safe, we were able to access our courage and open-heartedness. What a powerful, new way to experience ourselves and each other. 7583954480_9D1A4423

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Fear to Power, Power to Fear: Women’s Voices in Group

Fear to Power, Power to Fear: Women’s Voices in Group

FCGPS Annual Conference
(more info)
November 10, 2018
10:00am-5:00pm

University of Colorado Health Center
for Dependency, Addiction and Rehabilitation
1693 Quentin Street
Aurora, CO 80045

AGPA Annual Conference
(more info)

February 25 – March 2, 2019

Westin Bonaventure Hotel
404 S. Figueroa Street
Los Angeles, CA 90071

Leaders:
Yoon Kane, LCSW, IFSCP, CGP
Saralyn Masselink, LCSW CGP

“What are the words you do not yet have? What do you need to say?” -Audre Lorde.

Mindful Founder and Executive Director, Yoon Kane LCSW, IFSCP, CGP will be co-leading a full-day institute and a half-day experiential training group with Saralyn Masselink LCSW, CGP in Denver, CO and Los Angeles, CA. This training opportunity for therapists will explore cultural expectations as a ‘passionate bad fit’ for women and ways they are unconsciously repeated in group.

From a young age, women receive messages about how to be nice, compliant, accommodate others, and gain approval, both from the family and the communities they grow up in. These messages arrest women’s natural development of a sense of self-worth and entitlement. There is a dichotomy introduced into young female psyches that sets women up to believe that the cost of being powerful is a loss of connection and belonging.

These culturally-sanctioned beliefs that govern patterns of behavior are unconscious and are played out and repeated in group dynamics. Group also has the potential to encourage people to have new experiences that foster new beliefs and paradigms and offers opportunities to try on and test out fresh ideas and ways of being.

These experiential training workshops will explore questions such as: What are women’s relationships to having power and agency? What does the fear of power communicate about the female self and early relationships with caregivers? How can group provide reparative experiences that counter dysfunctional cultural norms? The group leader can help members become conscious of these limiting dynamics and establish new norms that offer the space for maturational experiences previously limited by socio-cultural conditions.

Be sure to connect with Yoon Im Kane LCSW, PC for questions and discussion. She will be part of the expert panel at the FCGPS Annual conference in Denver, CO Sunday 11/11/18 4:00-5:30pm.

Look forward to seeing you there!

mindful team shot

https://www.mindful.nyc/blog/

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The American Group Psychotherapy Association 2018 Annual Conference in Houston, Texas

Desire and Inhibition: Taking the Leap from Isolation to Connection

Thursday, March 1st, 2018 2:30 PM – 5:00 PM

LEADERS:

Yoon Kane, LCSW, IFSCP, CGP, Private Practice, New York, New York
Tom Thorsheim, PhD, CGP, Private Practice, Greenville, South Carolina

This is a half-day didactic and experiential training group opportunity for therapists to grow as practitioners and leaders by learning to work with themes of desire and inhibition in therapy. In this group, we’ll look at resistance to connection, internal and external barriers to living fully in relationship to oneself/others. Members will gain here-and-now experience working with resistances to intimacy, and gain more experience transforming fear into excitement and owning their power and competence.

experiential-demonstration-didactic-sharing of work experiences

Learning Objectives:

The attendee will be able to:
1. Facilitate a culture of open and progressive communication between group
members.
2. Apply techniques to work with negative feelings and avoidance of intimacy in group and/or individual treatment.
3. Effectively identify and address themes of power, sex and gender dynamics, and shame in your work with clients.
4. Promote healthy group discourse, with increased vitality and aliveness in your work with clients.
5. Differentiate between inhibiting and disinhibiting beliefs and mindsets that get in the way of growth and connection.

Course References:

1. Ormont, L. (1998). The leader’s role in resolving resistances to intimacy in a group setting. International Journal of Group Pscyhotherapy, 38:1, 28-45.
2. Dweck, C. (2000). Self-Theories: Their role in motivation, personality, and development. Psychology Press.
3. Zeisel, E. (2009). Affect education and the development of the interpersonal ego in modern group psychoanalysis. International Journal of Group Psychotherapy, 59:3, 421-32.
4. Weinberg, G. (1984). The heart of psychotherapy: The therapist-patient relationship. New York: St Martin’s Press, Chap 22 pp 129-169.
5. Brown, B. (2012). Daring greatly: How the courage to be vulnerable transforms the way we live. Avery.
6. Dweck, C. (2007). Mindset: The new psychology of success. Ballantine Books.IMG_7210

Register here:

http://www.agpa.org/home/continuing-ed-meetings-events-training/annual-meeting/2018-three-day-conference/thursday-march-1-2018#yoon

https://www.mindful.nyc/events/2016/10/19/desire-and-inhibition

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We’re growing and expanding: Excited to lead a team of new clinical associates at the Mindful Psychotherapy Practice. Read their bios on http://mindful.nyc. Stay tuned for pictures of our new office space!

mindful team shotIMG_4743

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CGPS 2017 Spring Workshop Presentation: Race, Sex + Power

IMG_7216IMG_7210IMG_7224On May 20th – 21st 2017, I was invited by the Carolinas Group Psychotherapy Society as the featured presenter to lead their spring conference event at the UNC Friday Center. The topic was Race, Sex + Power. I was blown away by the level of skill, insight, and compassion demonstrated by the participants. It was a powerful and healing weekend for all!

An excerpt from my plenary at the CGPS weekend conference:

“As group therapists, it is part of our job description to create a safe, inviting container for our patients. This takes a tremendous effort from the group leader. In order for the therapist to help others heal, the therapist has to understand, own and accept their own unconscious feelings. What this means is that the therapist must have empathy for themselves. They must willingly expose themselves in a controlled manner to their own unconscious beliefs, feelings, and thoughts”

Stay tuned for the full write up.

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Yoon Kane LCSW, CGP – Interview with CGPS – Spring Workshop 2017

Tom Thorsheim, PhD (Licensed Psychologist) interviews Yoon Kane LCSW, CGP as the featured presenter at the Carolina Group Psychotherapy Society Spring Conference Event, May 20 – 21, 2017.

Yoon will be presenting on the topic of Race, Sex & Power and Group Psychotherapy. The Spring Workshop will be held on May 20th – 21st, 2017 at the Friday Center – Chapel Hill, North Carolina

For more information visit the event information page here:
http://cgps.wpengine.com/2017-spring-…



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Presenting at the 20th Wall Street Economic Summit

FullSizeRender (2)On February 16, 2017, I presented on the evolution of healthcare with Dr. Alice Rivlin, Brookings Economist, former Vice Chair of the Federal Reserve, Director of the White House Office of Management and Budget.
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Post Election COGPS 2016 Presentation on Women, Sex + Power

IMG_3646IMG_3644On November 13th, I was invited to Colorado to present to a training group of therapists at the COGPS annual conference at the University of Colorado Anschutz Medical Campus. The topic was Women, Sex + Power. It was within days after the 2016 election. I was uncertain about what to expect from the audience given the tense political climate. I was blown away by the level of honesty, intelligence and courage demonstrated by the participants. The synergy of openness and reflective insight inspired and re-energized my belief in the healing power of group.

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How to be a badass in life

I recently posted a picture of myself to announce my new business and website. It wasn’t the typical therapy photo of a thoughtful pose, in a non-threatening office, with my head slightly cocked in an ”I’m here to listen and not judge” angle. It was a full body shot of me in my usual sheath dress work attire, hips swayed to one side, with the gritty streets of manhattan as the backdrop. There was nothing therapeutic about the image. I chose this photo because it represents who I am today: A strong, confident woman, comfortable with myself. There was a time in my life I wouldn’t have posted a picture like this in a million years. I spent most of my life trying to avoid the limelight by hiding in my therapy office humbly offering my over-educated and well-analyzed interpretation of the world.

I don’t recall a pivotal moment when my perspective shifted. There wasn’t a big “aha!” lightbulb switch that made it all make sense. Reflecting back, it was a process that unfolded over time. It took lot of hard work and self discovery to get to where I am today, to feel comfortable in my body and own my power not only as a successful woman but a successful asian woman. Growing up in a small southern town, I didn’t have many positive role models who helped to shape my view of myself as a unique individual, perfect and good exactly as I am. From a child/teen point of view, I was the ugly duckling that looked nothing like the bevy of swans I was surrounded by. I struggled with an unrealistic view of what I looked like and did not want to accept the fact that I was looked physically different from my peers. I searched in magazines, TV, school. Nothing. I felt alone with my struggles and failures at trying to fit in and realized my attempts only further disconnected me from my true self. By caring too much about fitting in and pleasing others instead myself, I spent most of my energy worrying instead of doing. It was only later in life, through good friendships, mentors and therapy groups, I was exposed to women and men who clearly took the steps to find their inner badasses and generously shared their vulnerabilities with me. In turn, I took the risk of opening up about my own struggles, and finally found connection with people whom I could trust and relate to.

Many mistakenly believe that body image issues are only weight related. Body image is about to how people see themselves. Distorted body image is an unrealistic view of how you see your physical body. Like eating disorders, it is seen most commonly in women, but it’s important to know that many men also suffer from the disorder. The way you begin forming your perceptions of your body’s attractiveness, acceptability and functionality starts in early childhood. Body image issues stems from the messages we receive from the outside about how we “should” or “should not” look. In my therapy practice, I’ve treated the most beautiful and successful men and women debilitated from body image issues. It’s about time we break the silence and begin facing our fears, taking ownership of what makes us unique, and bring out the inner badass in all of us.

The most important aspect to remember about being a badass is to accept all parts of yourself. If you feel good about something (your athleticism, writing, art) take the risk of putting yourself out there and allow the opinions, envy, aggression, judgement of others to pass through you like a light spring shower on a sunny day. Remember, to be a BA, you need to consider the following:

  1. What other people think of you and say about you is really none of your business.
  2. Everyone will have something negative to say unless they’ve done the work of owning their inner badasses.
  3. The true BA will be too busy living life and getting things done. Besides, people’s reactions say more about themselves than about you.
  4. If you want good feedback, surround yourself with people you truly respect, the BAs in your life who have your back. Join a group. Groups can be a powerful tool to help you test out new boundaries and learn to accept all aspects of yourself and others. 

The true badass knows that at the end of the day, you can’t expect others to respect you if you don’t respect yourself first.

IMG_9995Photo credit: Romer Pedron Photography

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